Friday, August 31, 2012

Come September

Her bones will ache/Her mouth will shake/And as the passion dies/Her magic heart will break/She'll fly to France/'Cause there's no chance/No hope for Cinderella/Come September

September is not a good month for me. The last two Septembers were full of pain and heartache for me. But last year is the one I remembering now. Most people probably don't know that I was hired for a position in England. I can still remember the morning I found out that I was going; that everything was finally going to go my way. It was supposed to begin in the middle of September. (Everything wrong/Gonna be alright/Come September) But that job literally fell apart in seconds and I was desperate. I spent most of last summer living in the library trying to find an ESL job. When England was no longer possible, less than 10 minutes after that I found the ad for the job in Morocco and applied for it immediately. Even though "MO" was not the best place for me to go to, emotionally and mentally, I was desperate since by that time, I had already given my boss at the time my notice. Thankfully, he took me back. Almost immediately, I heard back about an interview for the job in MO. The first interview went well, as did the second. They officially offered me a position at the beginning of September, and wanted me to be there before the 26th. That wasn't enough time to get everything ready but this job was a chance for a fresh start. The initial "contract" was for three months and if both parties agreed, they would help me get a visa and I would stay on for at least another nine months.

Everything wrong /Gonna be alright/Come September

The souls that burn/Will twist and turn and/Find you in the dark/No matter where you run/She's made her mark/But lost her spark/And what she's pushing for/She can't remember

Everything wrong/Gonna be all right/Come September


But like every other good thing that has happened to me in the last few years, it wasn't meant to be. They gave me about six days before giving me the ax and I had to scramble back to the States before I was kicked out of my apartment. My friends in Morocco were sad to see me go and some were able to take me around Rabat and Casablanca before leaving. Unfortunately, I remember very little of Casa. Earlier in the week I began to get sinus congestion and a cold and took some of the allergy medicine I had brought with me. The medicine really messed me up and my poor friends had to put up with a sad, sick, and extremely high Staci that night. My cold/sinus thing turned into an infection on my way back home and Mom made me go to the doctor a couple of days getting back. It took him only a few seconds to diagnose me with bronchitis. He was extremely generous when he found out I didn't have any insurance; the paperwork that said I had been there was put through the shredder. 

Her violet sky/Will need to cry/'Cause if it doesn't rain/Then everything will die/She needs to heal/She needs to feel/Something more than tender/Come September

Coming home so soon was not a pleasurable experience for me. I was horrible to some of my friends when I suffered from culture shock and I was still horrible to everyone when I came back. I ignored almost everyone and I refused to go to church even when given opportunities to do so. My name is synonymous with failure and I couldn't face anybody. And to a certain extent, I was afraid of one Orthodox acquaintance rubbing my failure in my face the first chance he got. Other people would have been supportive but he would have been right. He's nearly always right about me. My fears kept me away from my home church for eight months.

Everything wrong/Gonna be all right/Come September

On the brighter side of things, work is getting better. It's still frustrating and hectic at times, and it's hard trying to budget when I don't know what my tips will be every night. My lit class is going well and I have only 5 weeks left. My stats class begins next week and I'm looking forward to it. I have never had a stats class before so everything will be brand new to me. We're still getting zucchini and jalapeno peppers from our garden, with a few tomatoes and green peppers on occasion. I finally had the right consistency for my zucchini pancakes to the point where I didn't have to add milk, and I also added a few diced jalapenos to the mix and they turned out PERFECTLY. Some other exciting things are happening around here but I'm so afraid to say anything because it's hard to have hope that it will last.

My couch to 5k training is going slower than I though it would but I'm already seeing results from it (i.e. my shins no longer make me want to cry). I've been having allergy problems lately, hence the reason why there haven't been any posts lately. My eyes are the first to suffer. Yesterday, I was able to start the mower by myself for the first time (huge milestone) but that didn't help out my allergies. Gram went down to Nashville last weekend for my cousin's wedding but I had to stay behind and work and watch the animals. She's leaving again today to go up for my niece's birthday party but, thankfully, I have to work and can't go up. It's nice to have the house to myself for a couple of days, though I will miss Gram. She tends to get into trouble when I'm not around.

Until next time,

~Staci~

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