Follow-up

I smiled today for the first time in about a week; a genuine smile, and I even laughed. In my last post I mentioned that I was waiting for an answer. That answer was given to me this morning and it was definitely the likelier of the two. I feel foolish and stupid, but this miserable week is finally over and things can get back to normal.

In a situation like mine, peace can only be felt after a proper amount of grief is felt, analyzed and understood. It's been a week of pent-up emotions and it took time to let go of them. Some things have happened involving my church and I was very angry this morning. With me, anger quickly turns to tears and all it took was a hug from a very dear friend to set me off. I cried buckets during coffee hour and worried many people. I was sobbing so hard that friends thought something happened to Gram. In a way it felt good to get everything out of me. It also felt good feeling the arms of those who held me. I managed to calm down enough to make conversation with my friends sitting next to me. They were able to keep me talking, even when I felt like crying again. At some point I will have to fill them in on what was going on. They deserve an explanation.

There were a few things that I had to discuss with my priest. However that set me off again. He managed to make sense of everything I was blubbering about. I agreed with him about certain things, and will have to keep working on other things. Lord, have mercy! Friends wanted to take me out to lunch but I had to get home in time for work. It was at work that I laughed and smiled.

I cried my heart and soul out today. I'm exhausted. My eyes are swollen, bloodshot, and I can't seem to get rid of the dark circles. But I am happy. Well, happier. Happy to have an answer and happy to be able to move on. I'm no longer emotionally invested in the situation and can think clearly. Glory to God in all things!

Until next time,

~(A more normal) Staci~